rebecca-blacks-crocs: neilpatrickheaven: arianne—martell: Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs. wait that’s not what the black market is? fuck
thatinvinciblekid: samifersexual: wugs: ...
ddowney: marble sculptures are one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen i mean that’s stone and someone made it look transparent do you see that fabric? do you see that fluffy pillow? do you see that anatomy and those humans muscles? no you do not because that’s all fucking marble
dystopiamachine: dietnutella: nohomocide: accent marks and italics can make any word look beautiful bonèr Chlàmydîa gęńìtãl thüñdērštørm
the-potter-tardis: humming-metallica-in-the-tardis: amon-fire: fuckyourfreckles: rizaoftheowls: derinthemadscientist: stolenpandorica: elisetheawesome: kyoukokiriqiri: why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever” or ”the crimson horror” are u guys okay Vaginebola Red Tide Warning shark week the red wave i second...
If I was a guy for a day,
waterfalltears: thecolorplaid: I would: Masturbate. Hug a girl to see if it’s true that they can feel their boobs. Walk around the house naked. Pee behind a building. Ask someone to kick me in the balls to see how painful some boys say it hurts. Yell at girls at the mall saying, “CAN I HOLLA FOR A DOLLA?” Stare at my penis. Get a blowjob. you seem to think that getting...
i take super hot showers because i like to practice burning in hell
youarefuckingmajestic: REMEMBER, IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE LEAVING THE HOUSE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PYJAMAS. STAY COMFORTABLE, YOU DESERVE IT, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD
mebeingweird: bondoge: do u ever listen to a song and u like forget ur listening to it and when it’s almost over ur just like what and then u repeat the song but then it happens again
tumblr has given me the worst sense of humor ever i’m gonna be so screwed for school like if some student catches on fire i’ll probably burst into laughter
android18: meanwhile at tumblr headquarters
torsos: i don’t give blowjobs i give blowcareers
Cosmo Sex Tip #676
shoe-inhibitions: When he cums in your hand, wipe it on his forehead and whisper: “Simba”
k-i-t-a-i: starksexual: i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it i can almost hear yahoo regretting their investment
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
mindlessbeasts: sallutemymindlessswag: They should invent wifi bracelets, so you can wear them anywhere and have wifi connection. You are the future.
freeshawarmas: jehovas-witness: internetexplorers: cheese3d: nothings worse than soft grapes soft apples soft dicks ☾☻soft grunge blog☻☽
sfux: i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
the-laughing-cactus: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
your virginity (Taken with instagram)
ghosteh13: voice-of-tartarus: demeaniac: what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies? Woah woah wait you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most” that would explain...
brritnayy: lsdisco: almost-famovs: pizza: there’s 100 millon ppl on tumblr so if we all put in $20 we could buy tumblr for $2 billion and then yahoo couldn’t have it or we could all pitch $20 for $2 billion sack. And make like a bon-fire in some-sort of stadium. Then we can all just be high as shit and dance around and blog and get naked I like the second idea a lot Yea that second...
the-conspiracytheory: tyleroakley: Next week on the Real Housewives. never not funny
avengerstimebitches: foxnewsofficial: cock-and-coke-is-my-white-rabbit: spookyroomba: foxnewsofficial: what does tumblr even mean tumblr means family. and family means nobody gets left behind. that’s actually kind of touching. it’s actually kind of gay that’s also what tumblr means
laughterneverdies: casualfangirling: she-wants-the-doitsu: whendaybreaks: nicolasandthecage: when i erase a word with a pencil where does it go are you okay They turn into those eraser shavings and then you swipe them off your desk and they land on the floor and someone steps on them and they stick on their shoe and eventually the person goes home so right now your word is at...
someonecalledmefamous: mu5icliz: germansam: tokyosluts: Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation It’s like being dead without the commitment. an open relationship with death death with benefits
band-nonsense: tessaviolet: peachofcake: tessaviolet: i’m tupac on the inside. tupac is dead. exactly. well this is more emotional than expected
stealatimelord: When they showed Gallifrey: When they showed Classic Who Doctors: When Jenny said she’d been murdered: When the Doctor started crying: When I thought his name was “Please” for half a second: When the Doctor grabbed River and kissed her: When the Clara and the Doctor hugged and he called her “My Clara”: John Hurt:
travelviatardis: I didn’t choose the fandom life, the fandom life grabbed and chloroformed me on the way from school and dragged my unconscious body to it’s basement.